Mulla Nasrudin Story Collection 4

Mulla and the Judge

The judge was questioning Mulla Nasrudin. “I understand that your wife is scared to death of you,” he said. “That’s right, your Honor,” said the Mulla. The judge leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Man to man,” he said, “HOW DO YOU DO IT?”

Why Mulla Jobless?

The man said to Mulla Nasrudin on the street who had asked him for a handout, “You would stand more chance of getting a job if you would shave and clean yourself up.” “Yes, Sir,” the Mulla said. “I FOUND THAT OUT YEARS AGO.” 

Mulla’s Hospital Complaint

Mulla Nasrudin reported to the superintendent of the mental hospital and asked: “Have any of your male patients escaped lately?” “Why do you ask? said the superintendent. “BECAUSE, ” said the Mulla, “SOMEONE HAS RUN OFF WITH MY WIFE.” 

Mulla’s Chat

Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art. “When I look at one of your paintings, Sir,” he said, “all I can do is stand and wonder.” “Wonder how I do it?” asked the master. “No,” said Nasrudin. “WHY YOU DO IT.” 

Mulla and an Old Gentleman

Mulla Nasrudin approached a genteel-appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, “I am sorry, my friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice.” The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, “No thanks, IF YOU AIN’T GOT NO MONEY, I DON’T GUESS YOUR ADVICE IS WORTH ANYTHING, SIR.” 

Mulla and his Friend

A man said to his friend Mulla Nasrudin: “Who is the boss in your house?” “Well,” said Nasrudin, “my wife assumes command of the children, the servants, the dog and the parakeet. BUT I SAY PRETTY MUCH WHAT I PLEASE TO THE GOLDFISH.” 

An Young Man

A young man had just passed his examination for his private pilot’s license. He wanted to show off and persuaded the Mulla Nasrudin to go up with him. When they landed, the Mulla said: “Thanks for the two rides.” “What do you mean,two rides, Uncle?” asked the young man. “You had only one.” “Oh no,” said Nasrudin. “TWO. MY FIRST AND MY LAST.” 

Marriage Mess

Mulla Nasrudin was lying beside the wrecked car with a broken leg. He was being questioned by the highway patrolman. “Married?” asked the patrolman. “NO,” said Nasrudin. “THIS IS THE WORST MESS I HAVE EVER BEEN IN.” 

A Housewife

The housewife gave Mulla Nasrudin a sandwich, but asked him, “Haven’t you been able to find work?” “Yes, Lady, there is plenty of work,” said the Mulla, “but everybody wants a reference from my last employer.” “Can’t you get one?” she asked. “NO,” said Nasrudin. “HE HAS BEEN DEAD TWENTY YEARS.” 

Mulla’s Picnic

“What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?” a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. “They are saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward.” “Well, I am no fool,” the Mulla said. “Some of the girls found a big hornet’s nest in the top of a tree and dared me to climb up and get it. And I just didn’t do it, that’s all.” “Whether you were smart or not,” said the friend, “That sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here.” “THAT’S RIGHT,” said Nasrudin, “BUT I AM ALSO UNHARMED AND UNSTUNG.” 

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